There
comes a time in your life when you finally get
it... When in the midst of all your fears and
insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out-
ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on.
And, like
a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your
sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of
wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a
new prospective.
This is
your awakening.
You realize
that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for
something, or someone, to change... or for
happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon.
You come
to terms with the fact that there aren't always
fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you.
So, you begin
making your way through the reality of today
rather than holding out for the promise of
tomorrow.
You realize that
much of who you are, and the way you navigate
through life is, in great part, a result of all
the social conditioning you've received over the
course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift
through all the nonsense you were taught about:
how you should
look and how much you should weigh
what you
should wear and where you should shop
where you
should live or what type of car your should drive
who
you should sleep with and how you should behave
who you
should marry and why you should stay
Slowly you begin
to open up to new worlds and different points of
view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who
you are and what you really believe in.
And you begin to
discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should
never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the
fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who
or what you are... and that's OK... they are
entitled to their own views and opinions.
And, you come to
terms with the fact that you will never be a size
5 or a perfect 10.... Or a perfect human being for
that matter... and you stop trying to compete with
the perfect image inside your head or agonizing
over how you stack up.
And, you make
peace with the woman in the mirror and you learn
to give her the same unconditional love and
support you give so freely to others.
And, you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a
consumer hungry for your next fix ....a new
dress, another pair of shoes... or
looks of approval and admiration from family,
friends or even strangers who pass by.
And you
discover that ... it is truly in giving that we
receive ... and that the joy and abundance
you seek grows out of the giving.
And you recognize
the importance of creating & contributing
rather than obtaining & accumulating.
And you begin to
love and to honor yourself.
And you stop
engaging in self-destructive behavior including
participating in dysfunctional relationships.
And you begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and
taking more time to rest and exercise.
Then you
learn about love and relationships...how to love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving
...and when to walk away.
And you allow only
the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects
you to glorify you with his touch.
You learn that
people don't always say what they mean or mean
what they say, intentionally or unintentionally
and that not everyone will always come through...,
and interestingly enough, its not always about
you.
So, you stop
lashing out and pointing fingers or looking
to place blame for the things
that were done to you...or
weren't done for you.
And you learn to
acknowledge and redirect the feelings of anger,
jealousy and resentment you sometimes feel...lest
they suffocate your spirit and steal your soul.
You learn how to
say I was wrong and to forgive people for their
own human frailties and to build bridges instead
of walls...and you learn about the healing power
of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a
warm smile or a friendly gesture...
At the same time,
you eliminate ANY relationships that are hurtful
or fail to uplift and edify you. And you stop
working so hard at smoothing things over and
setting your needs aside.
You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that
it is your right to want or expect certain things.
And you learn the importance of communicating your
needs.
You
learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are
burned at the stake.
Then you learn to
distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and
the importance of setting boundaries and learning
to Say NO. You learn that you don't
know all the answers, its not your job to save the
world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
And, you
learn to look at people as they really are and not
as you would have them be and you are careful not
to project your neediness or insecurities onto a
relationship.
You learn that you
will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent,
more lovable or important because of the man on
your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn that
just as people grow and change so it is with love
and relationships.... and that not everyone
can always love you the way you would want them to
or live life just to suit your needs, ease your
insecurities or meet your standards and
expectations.
And, you learn the
difference between wanting and needing and you
stop trying to control people, situations and
outcomes.
And, you learn
that alone does not mean lonely and you begin to
discover the joy of spending time with yourself
and on yourself.
You avoid Toxic
people and conversations. And you stop wasting
time and energy rehashing your situation with
family and friends because you've learned that
talking about things doesn't change them.
You learn
that wishing for something is different from
working to make it happen.
And you begin to
invest your time and energy to affect positive
change. You take a personal inventory of the
areas you need to improve in order to move ahead,
you set your goals and map out a plan of action to
see things through.
You learn that
life isn't always fair and you don't always get
what you think you deserve. You stop
personalizing every loss or disappointment.
You learn to
accept that sometimes bad things happen to good
people and that these things are not an act of
God... but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop
looking for guarantees because you've learned that
the only thing you can really count on is the
unexpected ...and that whatever happens, you'll
learn to handle it.
And you learn that
the only thing you must truly fear is the great
robber baron of all time FEAR itself.
So you learn to
step right into and through your fears because to
give into fear is to give away the right to live
life on your terms.
You learn that
much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy
and you learn to go after what you want and not to
squander your life living under a cloud of
indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN
ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence
it brings and the options it creates.
And you recognize
the necessity to create your own personal
wealth. Slowly, you begin to take
responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself
and to never ever settle for less than your hearts
desire.
And
you live with honor and integrity... because
you know that these principles are not the
outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar
that holds together the upon which you must build
your life.
And you make it a
point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to
stay open to every wonderful opportunity and
exciting possibility.
Then you hang a
wind chime outside your window to remind yourself
what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with
courage in your heart and with God by your side
you take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you
begin to design the life you want to live as best
as you can.
A word about the
Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most
painful and frightening hours, I have prayed not
for the answers to my prayers or for material
things but for my God to help me find the
strength, confidence and courage to
persevere; to face each day and to do what I must
do.
Remember this: You
are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of
God resides within you and moves through you. Open
your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal
and empower you.
My God has never
failed me.
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