Everything is so dangerous that

nothing is really very frightening.

-- Gertrude Stein

Life is full of dangers and risks and challenges.

We can choose to meet them fearfully or in a spirit of welcome.

To choose fear, to say, "I won't take that risk because I might lose," is to prevent ourselves from ever winning.

Inspirational Short Story, Female Fantasy Art, Relaxing Music

If we welcome the danger, the risk, or the challenge, we acknowledge that life is made up of losses as well as victories, of gains as well as pain.

Life holds the dangers as well as the rewards.

We choose how we will act. Sometimes we may feel trapped in a cycle of fearfulness.

If we examine our own part, will we find that we are neglecting to take a balanced view?

Perhaps, through a fear of losing, we are missing many chances for satisfaction.

The pain of leaving those you grow to love

is only the prelude to understanding yourself

and others.

-- Shirley MacLaine

Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can't control, letting go of people

-- watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences.

Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have loved may sadden us, but it also provides us opportunities for growth we hadn't imagined.

These experiences push us beyond our former selves to deeper understandings of ourselves and of others.

So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer.

Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrenches us emotionally, stretches us to new heights.

Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper.

Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it.

She had trouble defining herself independently

of her husband, tried to talk to him about it,

but he said nonsense, he had no trouble

defining her at all.

-- Cynthia Propper Seton

To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners.

It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are.

It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it.

It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out.

Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs.

Perhaps we revel in massage - both getting and giving.

Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children.

Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it.

We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence.

_______________

11/30/2013

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