about as pleasant a companion as a pebble in a
shoe.
--
Elbert Hubbard
Are we overly
sensitive or afraid of personal criticism for fear our feelings
will be hurt?
Sometimes
it may seem like no one can say anything to us
without us feeling hurt, shameful, guilt-ridden, or
rejected.
We may find
ourselves saying we're sorry so many times in one
day that we end up believing we are, indeed, very
sorry people.
Our
friends and relatives care about us and want to see
us healthier, happier people.
Because of
this, they may give us criticism. This criticism is
meant to be helpful, not hurtful.
If we feel
attacked by the criticisms of others or always seem
to have our feelings hurt, it's because we allow it.
No one
can make us feel any way unless we let it happen.
Although we
may have been brought up with criticism and been
told we were no good, the only person today who can
make us feel worthless is ourselves.
We are as good
as we'll allow ourselves to be.
The
most important thing in life is not to
capitalize
on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really
important thing is to profit from your losses.
--
William Bolitho
It is easy to
see the profit in what we gain, but it is not so
easy to see the profit in what we lose. Projects
that take shape and collections that expand show the
gains we have made.
But how can we
see profits from the end of a relationship, the loss
of a job, or the estrangement from family?
Each loss represents a step we need to take toward
maturity and growth. Throughout our lifetimes we
will walk up many steps.
Sometimes it
may seem like we have a never-ending stairway in
front of us. Our gains are the level parts of each
stair, but the real progress is made when we climb
the stairs of our losses.
Although we may feel as though we have nothing when
we go through a loss, what we do have is the
experience of the loss. We learn to deal with a
different lesson.
Our
profits from a loss may not show up immediately, but
we will discover the rich rewards as we learn to
accept life on its terms -- not on ours.
They
got scared when they started feeling good, just
because it was so unfamiliar. Like chronic
prisoners
facing release from their cells.
--
Lisa Alther
The evening news usually
begins with doom-and-gloom stories and perhaps ends
with one positive, uplifting item. If
we were to give the evening news of today, what
would it consist of?
Stories of disappointment,
anger, resentment, and misunderstandings; or
recollections of giving, laughter, closeness,
success, and achievement?
It's scary to focus only on the good things that
happen. Many times we're afraid to feel good because
we don't trust the feeling to last long.
Perhaps we're very
uncomfortable with good feelings because they're so
unfamiliar. Yet that unfamiliarity can change, over
time, until we grow accustomed to the good.
Accepting good feelings is like meeting someone we
really want to know better.
At first we may feel
scared or shy. But in time, we feel more at ease and
relaxed as we spend more time together and share
different things. Feeling good can be a friend that
will grow more important to us every day.
